Whenever I hear the word "artist" I think of a painter or sculpture of sorts. I used to think people referring to themselves as "artists" was so self indulgent and annoying (unless they sold art).
Growing up, I did gymnastics, cheerleading and was even in our hometown circus. There was never any doubt I was athletic and loved to perform. I even taught myself how to do a running back flip (round off back tuck) in my back yard! I remember the first time I landed on my feet -as apposed to my knees & hands so many times before-. I will never forget that feeling. So rewarding! This love for performing was no surprise to anyone, it's in my blood after all. My mother's entire family were dancers and performers. On my father's side, my grandfather was a world champion waterskier and his family was in the very same circus I was in, making my sister and me the 3rd generation to do it!
I live Los Angeles now and all the time I hear random people say things like "I'm a writer, actor, director, singer, songwriter, rapper, dancer, comedian, producer blah blah blah". I can't help but think to myself "Really buddy? But what do you get paid to do? Wait tables?".
When I first got here-almost 6 years ago- I was here for one purpose and one purpose ONLY. To be an actor! To act! When people would ask me what I did and I'd reply with all the confidence in the world "I'm an actress" (-side note- I know there's some stigma referring to a woman actor as an "actress". I get it, we're all actors. I refer to myself as both and the term "actress" does not offend me. It reminds me of "princess" which I think all girls deserve to feel like, but that's for another post.) Back to the point. I'd reply with all the confidence in the world "I'm an actress" and that reply -in LA- is usually met with the snobbish question "what have you been in?" and so on... Now, at the time I was studying at The American Academy of Dramatic Arts and teaching gymnastics. My resume consisted only of plays. Which in LA, means NOTHING. People would always latch onto the gymnastics and ask if I wanted to open my own gym or teach full time, as if I hadn't just proclaimed "I'm an actress!" As the months and years went on, I finished with school, got headshots, made a resume, went on auditions, got an agent -only to have him tell me to take commercial and on camera classes- more auditions, more headshots, did some indie films, more classes and finally booked some commercials! Something people could actually see on TV! I could hold my head up high!
Although this was very exciting for me, my family and friends back home. When you tell people -in LA- you're in commercials, it's almost the same as saying theatre. Which we remember means? Nothing! But I did feel confident when I'd say "I'm an actress!" At least I had an answer for the snobbish question soon to follow. I kept working hard, more classes, more headshots, different agents, got a manager, and then finally landed a speaking role on TV!! This was it! A TV show! I made it! I had some lines on an episode of the ABC Family show Make it or Break it. I kept working, auditioning as much as possible, more classes and then I booked a McDonald's commercial and CSI:NY in the same week! Okay, this is really it! I'm in The Screen Actors Guild now and going to be on an episode of a primetime, Network television show! I'm a real actor!
Okay, so these roles are considered a "co-star". Which is very low on the chain of command in a TV show's billing... But when people would ask "What do you do?" and I'd answer "I'm an actress!", when the snobbish question "what have you been in?" comes, I'd have a real answer. A good answer! Then that was met with "Oh, recurring or guest star?" Which a co-star role is neither of those. In the world of TV you might as well of been in a commercial, which is almost the same as theatre and we all know that means what? Nothing!!!! There will always be a bigger and "better" thing in any avenue you pursue.
These days, I feel very comfortable calling myself an actor -or actress- ;) I've earned it. But I'm no more of an actor now, then I was 6 years ago when I was doing improv and scene study at Florida Studio Theatre in my hometown. Wide eyed and bushy tailed, dying to get to LA. I loved acting every bit as much then as I do now. Sure now I have more experience. I've been on countless auditions, amazing sets and even on TV. But it was the young, excited, unexperienced little girl's dreams that gave me the guts and determination to set out to do what I love and choose a path we all know not everyone "succeeds" in. And it's that very same young, excited to learn little girl in me, that keeps me going no matter how long it takes to "make it"! I love the act of acting and that's what makes me an actor. My own passion I have for it and the personal fulfillment I get from doing it. That's what no one can measure or take away from me.
I truly believe acting and performing will always be my number one passion and pursuit. I used to think it had to be my only one as well. I've always loved doing hair and make-up. I think they are arts of their own. I've always loved to make collages and be creative. Most of the time it was without knowing or labeling it "creativity"
This past year, I've taken up designing and sewing. This I know, I directly inherited from my mother. She is an extremely creative and talented designer. She makes tons of clothes, purses and all kinds of stuff that women love and buy a lot of! Last year I was home for the holidays and she busted out a ton of feathers and antique brooches & veils. I had a blast making these head pieces.
As soon as anyone saw these or I told them I was making them. The questions started rolling in: "Do you want to be a fashion designer now?" "What are you "doing" with this?" Or my personal favorite- "Like, why are you making them? To sell?" Although I have sold some. I felt I had to have an answer. Just like when people asked me "what do you do?" I couldn't just simply reply I'm an actress. As with any new venture- time, money, energy are all factors. Although the idea of having my own fashion line or even just my stuff being sold in a store is awesome. That wasn't the reason I started making headpieces or sewing. I just love the process of creating something and the concentration involved relaxes me.
I've also played around with a long time passion I have for rap, by writing some myself. I've always loved rap -or hip hop- music. I used to make my family watch me sing along to Will Smith and Lauryn Hill. God forbid I mention this to anyone but my inner circle. As I'm sure the snobbish questions -and snickering in this case- will start flowing in. I'm not currently pursuing a record deal and I know I'm not Nicki Minaj. But I love to do it. So I do.
I started writing this post today because of a simple blog my sister posted this morning:
http://mattersofmary.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-can-be-crafty-i-think.html
She was just talking about being "crafty" and it inspired me to share the quotes below from The Artists Way with her.
In reading the quotes, I started thinking about what makes someone an "artist". I've had that question circling around in my head lately. I love to do so many things in the "creative world". There's acting of course, sewing, dancing, doing hair and make-up, rapping, re-touching photos, editing videos, making collages, and even on occasion I paint. ;) I may not get paid to do all of these things. Some of them I'm not even particularly good at. And when someone asks me now "What do you do?" I will not spew off a huge list. I will still say with confidence like always "I'm an actress" But I can't help but to think to myself- am I an artist? Do I have the audacity to call myself that? It's like everything else I've just mentioned. I love creating. So I do. I never thought to call myself an artist and even if I did, I never had the nerve to say it. Well there's a first time for everything, here goes.... I'm an artist.
I'M AN ARTIST!
-Amara Cash
*All of the quotes below I pulled from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
~"Artists are visionaries. We routinely practice a form of faith, seeing clearly and moving toward a creative goal that shimmers in the distance - often visible to us, but invisible to those around us. Difficult as it is to remember, it is our work that creates the market, not the market that creates our work. Art is an act of faith, and we practice practicing it. Sometimes we are called on pilgrimages on its behalf and, like many pilgrims, we doubt the call even as we answer it. But answer we do."
~"Remember, there is a creative energy that wants to express itself through you; Don't judge the work or yourself. You can sort it out later"
~"Creativity is like crabgrass-it springs back with the simplest bit of care."
~"Artist love other artists. Shadow artists are gravitating to their rightful tribe but cannot yet claim their birthright. Very often audacity, not talent, makes one person an artist and another a shadow artist-hiding in the shadows, afraid to step out and expose the dream to the light, fearful that it will disintegrate to the touch."
~"There is just this dream, this feeling, this urge, this desire. There is seldom any real proof, but the dream lives on."
